Fresh Mommy

Monday, November 27, 2006

Home Sweet Home

Belated Thanksgiving Greetings!

Just back after a week in Florida with my parents. Boy, it's good to be home. Before we left I was really looking forward to our "vacation" but let's face it -- a week at your retired Floridian parents' home is not exactly vacation. It's a week with your parents. If you're me and your parents spend all their waking hours bickering (that's one way to put it) then it's a week spent referee'ing the arguments while also rolling your eyes and wondering how you could have ever imagined that this might be relaxing.

The flight was okay. Southwest just started flying direct from Albany to Tampa so it saved us the two plus hour drive to LaGuardia or JFK, and Albany is a nice quiet airport so we were spared the crazy holiday airport scene. But it's really a no-frills airline and when the FreshGirl decided to take a nice messy crap right after takeoff (cabin pressure changes, maybe?) we had to change her diaper on the floor (!) in the back galley. Flight attendants had to stop pouring drinks and stand aside while I wiped her ass. Good times, people.

But other than that, she was surprisingly good on the plane. And really the whole trip. She was a little frightened of my father whom she's only seen three times in her life, the last time being six months ago. "She's afraid of me," my father would mock cry to her. Uh, yeah, you talk nice to her for a minute then turn around and yell at Mom. It's not like she doesn't have eyes and ears. Scary old man yelling at the old lady -- who are these people?

Also, my parents' computer died the day before I got there, and I had to spend three hours (!) on the phone with Hewlett Packard as they talked me through various exercises over and over again ("just keep tapping the escape key") which eventually led to me taking the computer apart and pulling out various pieces from inside the machine (I could not tell you what) and putting them back again. All the while my father is looking over my shoulder and talking over the IT guy. And my mother would pop in every five minutes for good measure and talk over my father to argue about how he doesn't know anything about computers and he broke it. They're like children. FreshDaddy and I have been debating about #2 and now I have to wonder, is that what it will be like? The constant arguing? Having to separate them so they'll just shut up?

Sigh...

On a more positive note (oh finally, Christine, enough of your complaining already!), FreshDaddy and I snuck out during the girl's nap one afternoon to catch a matinee of "Borat." It was so outrageous, so ridiculous, so utterly obscene at times, I think I hurt myself laughing so hard. Okay, I felt a little bad for some of the people who were not in on the joke (but not the rodeo president guy -- screw him -- and not the wacky Christians because seriously, what was up with that?), but when Borat and Azamat were wrestling in the nude, I never laughed so hard in my entire life. Some of those images are burned into my mind. They're disturbing, and yet I enjoy replaying them in my mind. Over and over again.

And that was Thanksgiving.

Hope yours was delightful!

3 Comments:

Blogger Jill said...

Families are crazy, aren't they? I've never met a completely sane family in my life. If I did I would be suspicious.

I haven't seen Borat yet, but I want to. My brother, the 24-yr-old Ali G. afficianado, claims that it isn't as good as The Ali G Show. But then he's a purist. Did you know that one can be an Ali G. purist? Apparently one can.

8:23 PM  
Blogger MommyWithAttitude said...

Ah... good times!

And YES, life with two kids IS a life of separating them constantly or just losing your mind, whichever you prefer.

Sounds like it wouldn't be so bad not to have a mind... at least during holidays with relatives.

1:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When I lived away from "home" for 8 years, I spent many holidays alone. I would have gave anything to be with my family and here the nonsense!

Doll House Lover

7:44 AM  

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